mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli

  • Mood:
  • Music:
the thing to remember is, for most of my life family only meant my head. how do you say to someone "you know, the rest?" & make them understand? how do you idolize alienation like i have & find someone to understand. i don't mean listen to. a thousand girls will listen to you talk about how broken you are. but the few will move against it. i mean, give me a change & i will mythologize my empty soul into brothers. & i'm right; in the end, you'll all fucking see. but jenny is the one girl who didn't say "what the fuck is this?" but who said, "okay, well, i'm here for you." i mean, i don't want to diminish cortney, she was there for me too, but jenny was the one who did it without reservation, without caveat or agenda. or, i guess she probably had an agenda. doesn't every one, even the scrabbling scrub of mankind? so okay. i've been down the dodge, a few times even. at this point, i can't even imagine bringing someone into the mordicai epic, not without some sincere coaching. besides, who the fuck matters to it anyhow? ahhhhh.

i miss katja. i havn't seen her in...3 weeks? she was sick, or whatever, etc. i'm not mad or nothing. but i mean, i had that whole week without jenny. i needed myself a little bit of affection! i had none. it was a sad time. um...i don't have much to say about that. i guess katja is my best girl in the city, jenny not withstanding. she's a fucking genius. so i don't know, the vacation without her was rough. but unavoidable. i don't really have a point at all. i mean, i think an awful lot about how i want a peter pan in all black to be the leader of the pirates. mostly it tellls of me. i am growing older but no more mature. i promise to be a huge mess forever. as long as it doesn't hurt jenny. did i mention yet how if anyone ever fucks with her, i'll go crazy alpha male? pretty much un-needed, but just in case. oh man.

  • Deadlands: Coffin Rock.

    Insert Ennio Morricone & theremins here: it's Deadlands time again! After last session, we'd our characters built & started off as newcomers to…

  • The Big Fizz.

    I dreamt too big with my Dread game. Honestly it was sort of on purpose: I thought having multiple weird hooks would mean more entry points to…

  • Crazy Eyes!

    Sunday we did an Escape the Room for Nicole's birthday; Inquisition themed! Apparently these folks are franchised from Russia, & they were talking…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.