mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli

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sharks last forever. they figured that out.

i mean, right, sharks. what are you going to do about THEM, huh? they stopped evolving before the dinosaurs, bitch! they were all. "teeth? check. slow metabolism? also check. sandpaper skin? that is a check. okay, last thing- more teeth? like, tons more? also check? cool." seriously, since then, sharks have been like, winners. need to keep swimming to breathe? no problem! only sleep half your brain at a time, that will be cool. fuck, sharks, good looking out. "hey, we were thinking about it, & mister white shark? you just swim out into the deeper places, & chill there & occasionally befuddle fuckers who see you! they'll be all 'shit, that shark was like, a ton of shark' & nobody will believe them, but we'll know." how great is that? the shark club, where they just get to-fucking-gether. a: "how great is chum?" b: "i know, right?" man, i think it would probably about a million times better than sky diving to go into a shark cage. wait, seriously, think about how great sharks are. their first sensory impression after smelling you? is to fucking bite you. that is how a shark goes from "oh, this is a steel cage" to "oh, i could eat this." that is pretty much the range there! "hey, what it this? BITE!!" fucking great. oh also did i mention a real life shark called the goblin shark, that is basically a shark with a fucking goblin's nose? so great.

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