mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli

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jupiter & beyond.

monolith. oh there you are mordicai.

so yeah. i, embarassingly, have reoccuring nightmares. what are you supposed to say about it? sounds just as dumb as any of the other repeating rifle winchesters of my life. i've already been accused of using my livejournal for self-hypnosis. but i mean- is there any other purpose for self-relfection besides? not that i worry. mordicai is a sticky meme. i cross-pollinate like you wouldn't belive. i mean, my liberal ideologies mark me as attractive to idea-mates, but my neo-darwinian sociopathy means my brainy thoughts have some serious legs. like- malice before love. sounds ugly, at first, doesn't it? nobody wants to be part of team hate! well, besides me, but i am team captain! anyhow, you'll all convert. just you wait & see. hate & loyalty. nothing beats the hive. i'm not the first synapse. but i'm an enduring one. i'm a muscle the swarm keeps flexing. god fucking damn i'm jolly. thinking of my crown of iron. hey dummy! you are still bound for a lonely bed. eh, lay off the kid! he's a mess, i'll give you that, but he is at least in the game. this is the same mordicai who believed whole-heartedly in the joke of dying before thirty, once upon a time. hey, man. does that broken face count as my once into the breach? because if it doesn't, i don't want to shirk my duties. i'm a fucking soldier. i'm a captain in an army older than dragons. oh hell. i suppose i should be spouting some lyrical prose about now. something about the salt & rime that grips our swords, the hate, the chill. oh world, i cannot encapsulate this malice. malice might as well be what my name means. i only like you if you are being wrecked, broken. there have been tragically few exceptions. mostly, i'm amused at the absence. i mean, sometimes i think about who has known me, since this past quarter decade. think of my lowering my brow against the waterfall. now is maybe not the time to go listing those who have betrayed me. especially since some earn the special dispensation that my humor accords. i mean...walking away before the wound could heal? showing a surprising ammount of discernment!

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