i can't fucking keep my spare time secret enough. i don't want to talk about it. lies! i do. but invariably i get blank stares. i mean, in all kinds of colours. shit, sometimes i say "i spent the past hour locked in the bathroom listening to elliot smith," only to have hollered back "elliot who?" or like, sometimes i'm all...shit! secrets! secrets. fuck you! if you only knew the power of the dark side. la. i'm in a decent mood, darkness aside. jenny is out elsewhere with her ex-friend. maybe it is like amete is her pam slea? only in reverse? i don't know. i've been the one dropped, in a similar manner. wait, mostly i'm always the one dropped in a similar manner. hahaha sucker! enjoy. so whatever, i'm jolly. saint mordicai. only, are you supposed to be a person to be a saint? i lose track. i am king boyfriend! rawrg! um, but i am now kind of bored. maybe...i will...try morphine! wait, fuck, i don't have morphine. dammit.