up early with the shivers. drinking physik, coming to grips with hello sunshine. fuck i hate the morning, & i hate sleeping. the whole kit & caboodle. wagon train ho. i've been trying to seperate out the bad dreams from the crummy morning. there was weird time travel in it, like stones skipped across a pond. like, it was world war two, but there was some secret subtext, something like for every jew killed, i lost something- i can't remember. i was in this bunker for a lot of it, only the bunker was really more of a bomb shelter. i think i gave the order to start using nukes on the european front, & then was caught in one? except somehow this other angel (i was in full splendour) ended up trapped in the bunker with me. i kept catching a whiff of its singed flesh, & would have to run out of the room, because it was rigging magazines to explode, or setting booby traps with grenades or something. i had a "maus" pistol, which looked like a mauser without the long barrel. i also remember trying to get google to load so i could search for instructions on how to defuse a bomb i was stuck in. eventually i grappled with the thing, after it knocked the gun out of my hand, & we ended up pulling the flesh off each other like peeling rotten moss off a log. as the skin came off i realized that we didn't avoid the atomic blast, that we were gross irradiated living dead, that we were sloughing off our skin because we were basically meltface zombies. so i climbed out of the bunker through the secret passage in korea, & tried to go to this sacred spring, my skin sliding off my body all the way. i think something happened on the way, because i somehow was partially cured, but only because i was able to turn myself inside out? like, if i had to talk to people i could look fine but have disgusting rotting bones inside me, but if i had to fight somebody i could reverse myself & have rotting flesh. there were these little people, like children, living in the bamboo, & they had sharpened bamboo slats that they would pierce me with when i tried to walk through the grove to get to the spring.