mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli
mordicai
  • Mood: a secret darkness
  • Music: crown me king feat thom yorke- the reign drops
wearing a casual in-your-bones sort of tired. like i need a reason for it, i keep searching for one, but turning up only unlucky pennies. letting it go seems equally pointless. fairly afloat today- a pretty solid weekend. i like to think things with jenny are coming back into focus, but don't want to be hasty. don't want to forget lessons learned, you know? wear a crown of smoke, mordicai, but remember that you set her above your own head like the sword of damocles. so don't look at it as evaporation, but rather an unknotting. a solution to a problem, but not one reached by ignoring what was going on. do i sound fucking wise? i'm going to make myself sick. moral of the story? what the fuck is this, the princess & the pea? i'm hardly so trite. consequences result in being a dick. on a typical day, with a typical person, i couldn't give a fuck. or rather, i'd give exactly as much of a fuck as to make my smirk genuine. sure as heck ain't smirking when she's the other. it is the dyad thing that i'm unpracticed at. loss of a trinity makes mordicai sullen & selfish. don't expect that to change, but allow for exceptions.

today there was all this talk of a blizzard, but with the temperature all we had was snow & a light dusting of powder. useless! but enough to keep things eddying. swirling at a calm level. don't know what is on the menu for this evening- it is hard to say in fact. i'd venture impossible, without a precog rating of seven or better. maybe i'll get wine, or not; maybe jenny will bring new movies, or not. have i mentioned that i'm going to be opening the store on tuesdays & thursdays, instead of closing? that should give me some wiggle room as to being a good boyfriend, to have an actual fucking relationship. this weekend we're going to see some berk i know be in as you like it, which should be a pretty fun time. also i'm supposed to get together with astrad & debs wants to see constantine with me. i like having things to do, but i wonder if i'm going to be a flake about things? i kind of have been. i don't like that, i don't like being flaky.
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