mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli

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since it is apparently admiral nimitz's birthday today, i guess i'll make a list of ten things that i have done that you havn't done, which is ten pieces of evidence why i'm better than you & also you're mom doesn't love you (nobody loves you). i'll only make it ten things, & i'll leave off any overtly super-natural ones, because even if i was a person (& i'm not) i'd still be better at being a person than you are, because you suck, garbage-person, & i am awesome (super-person). there was a german guy with syphillis one time who talked about how awesome i was, but he was also a garbage person so i don't even care. so here are ten mundane reasons why mordicai rocks & not-mordicai fucking blows. fuck...

1. took a week long cruise on the nuclear powered aircraft carrier nimitz.
2. had major reconstructive surgery to put three titanium plates in my face.
3. shot the biggest pheseant that had been shot by a person under 18 in ohio.
4. fell down a stone shaft about 16' deep with no injuries.
5. repeatedly snuck into a nasa space telescope.
6. one time my social security number was stolen then deleted, & i dissapeared from "the system."
7. had a letter i wrote read by joe bob briggs on his show.
8. gone fishing using fried chicken as bait & caught two crabs that were having sex.
8. spelunking one time i found a passage nobody knew about.
9. dissected a dead person.
10. dug a rotting pig dressed in a woman's clothing out of the ground to do forensics on.

i guess that is a pretty good reel! it is better than your real, pud-knocker! the score board reads mordicai= 1,000,000, everybody else= goose egg! enjoy your disgusting knob-gobbling, said the hob-goblin king! you fucking punks! i swear to fucking heaven i'll put my stain upon this world before the end! i didn't even put down any of the intresting stuff! so fuck you! you & your dirty momma (who, you may recall, doesn't love you!) it'd be a cold day in hell when you'd be as sweet as yours truely! fucking memes, buzzing in my ears like bees! infect me, will you! i'll show you...i'll show you all!

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