i've been thinking about dying a lot to-night. mostly about, well, not dying, but perishing for all intents & purposes. i figure a good way to go would be be to have some kind of disease where your immune system rejects your body all together. sort of dying the way i've lived; denying to my last breath that this is me. i mean, that is the way i pick if victim of anonymous drive-by shooting & brain tumor are out of the question. just sit there in a hospital bed dying slow. telling jenny to let me go, or something. which i guess is me sublimating wanting her to hold on to me. but anyhow! if i die (notice: if. not when.) i don't want to be enbalmed. if you are worried i am not dead, have a wake, a nice irish wake. pour me drinks; if free liquor doesn't get me out of bed, i'm probably dead (or in supernatural hibernation). anyhow, what am i talking about? more than i think about dying, i think about how the comic book character i most sympathize with is probably the phantom stranger. & about how sweet it would be to write captain marvel comics. it'd be like writing superman, only you could involve him in supernatural plots without it being against type! he could cross over with john constantine! oh anyhow, i saw sky captain & the world of tommorow today. man, sky captain, FLY YOUR FUCKING PLANE! it isn't a car! why are you driving in the streets? who are you, khan noonian singh who can't think in three fucking dimensions? god-fucking-dammit! shit what the hell do i know? i'm sitting up listening to the minibosses cover megaman2 on repeat. what kills me is that the cover the level-song-loops in the order it takes to get the right weapons in order to kill the next guy &c. then when the doctor wiley music begins? man you can feel that fucking sense of urgency! hurry hurry kill the robots & take on their mantle, rock! good robot, go! go robot, go! anyhow- my girl is sleeping in the same bed as me these days. see i told you being the best dinosaur/boy/cyborg/vurt/angel was the way to go! my android/magic/technological/dream/dharma superiority is undeniable! choose your paradigm & loose, john bunyan! your allegory is for shit! you're ass is mine! i win one thousand times! put me upon your brow like ashes & tear your sack cloth, oh ye homonculi.