i was busy raising my statistics one day when all of a sudden the sky started raining frogs. & blood. it was weird; the frogs hopped around a while on the bloody ground, too. then they died, & turned to blood. i guess they were maybe blood clots? maybe science doesn't know it, but scabs are a kind of frog (or toad). & thats how i became a magical prince, the unholy voivode of uh...brooklyn. it happened to me one time. so my first job as king county's dracula was to get all crazy & shit on this gang war that was going on! the kkk & the bloods were fighting in crown heights; then after i broke that fucking shit up i had to stop a fight between 20 mike tyson's & 100 paris hiltons. i collected scalps! better fucking believe it! serious as a heart attack! with some serious duck sauce. BOO-YAH! after that i strolled around prospect park till about eight o' clock (eight o' the clock, what? you know its how we roll! post meridian o' the eights, so i've got to hit up my boo laurelai & her baby daughter rory, yo! shout out to my shorties!) after that i polymorphed into a cockroach & explored around underground. ain't no way no mole people are getting away with nefarious deeds (nefarity) without yours truely getting a cut, damn! i don't care if i'm el cucaracha, i'll bust a cap in your crown!