sometimes i wonder at weird meat-bag functions. like, do other guys get all fucked up if they masturbate too near to when they have to go to the bathroom? its mostly a when-i'm-drinking thing, but every so often my lusts & wastes get their ends tied up in knots. i mean, i guess that is what happens; a tube-twisting kind of thing. maybe i have prostate cancer or something! man cancer. what i want is some kind of hypertrophic immune system that eats all the rest of my cells, really. also, there is this pressure-zone thing i have- this sort of cold-front, freeze-breeze thing. i can just get hit with a chill that makes my bowels want to void. have i mentioned this before? until about junior high, i thought this was the way everyone's digestive system worked, until one day i was playing m.e.r.p. (middle earth role playing, by iron crown) & mentioned something about closing the window because it was making me have to take a shit. fuck, human beings are disgusting. anyhow, another time, when i was still speaking with my biological father, we went outside to put up christmas lights? since he lived on some super-suburban street where every house went balls out on x-mas. anyhow, he got hit with the cold whammy too! so maybe it is some crappy gene. fuck, man, being a person is such a sucker's game. you can tell it is a pretty bleak day so far- i keep talking about the weaknesses of the flesh. well no more! starting now i initiate plan: PAISLEYGOWN! i'll be the prettiest girl at the prom (where prom is equal to ragnarok).