mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli

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the cromlech, the place of crossing over. the circle of cyclopean stone.

last night a jagg of hating my insides, those traitor organs which rise up in rebellion. i find it difficult to blame them; they just don't want to be there. the cold reminds them of the long, lonely trip through space, hurtled like zeus's lightning, cast down. that heartbreak is easy to remember; the cloud of dust kicked up, the air thick with oxygen, the warmth turning into a molassass cold. the end of the empire of the dragons. the sort of things ticking across my mind as i sat next to jenny on the couch while she did our taxes. fell down hard into sleep when i finally crawled into bed, my girlfriend calling me "sport." as evenings go, it certainly could have been worse, certainly has been worse. everything was in nostalgia & rememberance; not a kerub crossed the threshold, nor was there a wiff of brimstone nor a glimmer of angeldust (or maybe i would have gone all cop killer). & this morning i remembered when olive was here i had been almost certain that i'd seen the purple hair goth girl that i stil can't believe i dated. & that i thought i'd seen her other times as well. it isn't like her look isn't dime a dozen, but apparantly she did move to new york. so how is that for validation! i was getting weirded out at my brain for identifying her out of the general back-drop of people in new york, like, what the fuck brain? she wasn't important! why are you projecting her on faceless grown-out of goth girls? but it turns out it wasn't fabricating i don't think! good job for you. tonight i won't jam a knitting needle into my nostril & slam my face down on the table. that is my reward to you. enjoy! now-abouts i have to jump in the shower & go to work. it might be my day off, but you know what they say. no rest for the wicked &c. besides, i have to find out if peter & christopher & my new girlfriend is there, this pretty adjunct who we befriended on the train & acting like she was serious about wanting a job working for us. she liked making fun of mormons & christians in general, which is always a plus (especially since we have two mormons currently working there).

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