mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli

ps david's silent film star is hot.

so uh, okay. wow, it encroaches. here i am, awake, but hell follows with me. or at this point, lets shed revelations. meggedo is the end of the world of man. & i've ever mantained that the world of men is un-important to our ilk. this is our relentless assault. or i mean. not like i'm not watching television. dating shows. but besides that! i'm assaulted by the ghosts of what i ought to be. oh shit dating shows. basically the same as horrific foreplay. it isn't like 12am to 3am programming isn't my meat & drink. MEAT FOR THE GOBLIN KING. oh shit. haha. fuck, i'm terrified. i'm shivering. i try to talk about my environment try to pass it off. oh! i've been excited about elections. badnarik here i come. fuck. okay, um. can i be uh, no wait, i'm not...fuck. oragami? lets talk fucking phillip k dick rip offs. like- uh. eyeballs. lets murder until howard phil writes about me. lets uh, lets uh.

i'm so fucking terrified of going to bed. oh right? you know how i wrote about it on the internet? oh shit! breaking the fourth wall or whatever? yeah, jenny took that opportunity to make fun of me about it. i <3 how i can write a bit about how i'm mortified with embarassment over my weird crippling fears? & she can joke around about it. i think what the real deal is? i would feel better if she saw that i was hurting & tried to help me. like- making fun of me? duh, irresistable. but i dunno. me vs. heaven might be the reocurring fight of my life? but man i need help.

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