mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli

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at what point, ladies & germs? i mean, i went to bed with full earnestnest. i had sex with jenny with all good intentions towards falling asleep. but here i am, head a-rage. i don't wanna be contrary. i promise. i'm desperate to not be all "you're soothing- but no compared to my brains-a-whirl!' because uh- thats hardly the case. i've got all kinds of monopolys on "worse than you," but in jennys? nobody can calm me like that. & as nice as i occasionally am to the occasional ex-girlfriend? it remains. you ain't a spot on this jenny. so can i blame this on...exuberance? or whas-it-called...uh. i got nothing. fact remains, i woke from my slumber. maybe at some point, if this keeps up, i'll smother myself in the shower. heck, i dunno. seriously? i feel like i have a lot more self awareness than most. but i'm still winging it, in the end. i'm still 65 million years old trying to fake it.

wow. to go along with this morning. i seem cheerful, right? affect is so hard to get.

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