sarah is gone, & now its jenny & me again. i accidentally let slip a comment about my absolute terror. because, uh, its hard to live in a world where you have to accept that the one you love might not love you enough. but hard is what i am. hard like rasputin, like blackbeard. i have no complaints. jenny is the stuff of legends, & so i'll dare her fickle adoration with a grin & a sword. it isn't like i havn't had worse. oh, i've had worse. & shit, while we are keeping track, i've done far worse, to bystanders no less. who the fuck do you think i am, prince charming? i'm the prince of fucking darkness, assholes.
so uh, basically? i left jenny sleeping on the futon to come write this. i left with her asking me if it was okay if she read, after i threw that whole "i'm constantly stressed by the fact that you could leave at any moment." i mean, she threw her hat in the ring. she was willing to take a few lumberjack swings at that yggdrasil. which is all i'm asking for. i'm here without hurt in my heart. & i mean, the past few days? have been beautiful. its been all adulation & then sex when nightfall came. i'm hoping its more a reflection on us, then on sarah's visit. thats all.
