mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli

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how much yo-yoing can i stand? i mean, i'm invincible, sure, but i've given to her the power to inspire or destroy me. she's the pistol pointed straight at my heart: she can either shoot bullets of love or devestation. i've fought so hard to get here. & i've been the best at pretending to be a real boy that i ever have: winning at school, getting a job, being a good mate, the whole nine yards. but the thing is, maybe she still won't pick me. i've done these things, but the fact that it was a struggle, instead of second nature? might spell the end of the one romance i've actually given a fuck about. fuck, i'm sitting here like a scarecrow whose straw has been all pulled out & lit aflame.

also, man, i didn't abandon her. she abandoned me. she left me. me.

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